customer: waiter, i've only got one piece of meat in my dish.
waiter:just a moment, sir and i'll cut it in two.
once two hunters went hunting in the forest. one of them suddenly fell down by accident. he showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing.
the other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help.
the operator said calmly:"first, you should make sure that he is already dead."
then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"what should i do next?"
a mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. she immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. frantically(疯狂似地) , she called to the father outside.
"your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes! what shall i do?"
yelled back the father, "keep feeding him nickels!"
police: when can it be that the thieves broke into your house?
owner: how could i know as my watch was stolen?