In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, "Johnny, I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests."
Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. "Well," said Mr. Johnson, "I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?', and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington', and so did you."
"So, everyone knows that he was the first president."
"Well, just wait a minute," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was. 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put 'Abraham Lincoln', and so did you.”
"Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that," said Johnny.
"Wait, wait," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was,'Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?' Mary put 'I don't know', and you put, 'Me neither'.”
Jane: What is the difference between electricity and lighting?
Mary: One must pay electricity dues, the other needn't.
Two boys walk into a bar and sit down to eat their lunches. The bartender says, "Sorry , but you can't eat your own food here." The two boys look at each other and swap lunches.
Mr William was deaf, but he didn't like people to know this. One evening he asked some friends to dinner. While they were sitting together after dinner, one of his friends told a funny story. Everyone laughed, and Mr William laughed, too. He said, "That was a funny story, but I know a funnier one." So he began his story. When it ended, everyone laughed louder thanever. Mr William himself smiled happily. But he didn't know he had told the very story that his friend had just told.