英语幽默故事

时间:2022-1-15 作者:爱思英语学习网

英语幽默故事简短,内容诙谐幽默,情节生动有趣。今天小编整理了一些英语小故事,希望对大家喜欢。

英语幽默小故事:Dog in Heat

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

一个小女孩问她的妈妈,“妈妈,我可以带狗狗去街角散步吗?”

Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

妈妈回答说,“不,因为她有些热。”

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

“那是什么意思?”小女孩问。

"Go ask your father", answered the mother, "I think he's in the garage."

“问你爸爸去吧,”妈妈回答道,“他应该在车库里。”

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

于是小女孩就去了车库里,说“爸爸,我可以带Belle去街角散散步吗?我问了妈妈,但她说狗狗有些热,让我来问问你。”

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."

爸爸说,“把Belle带过来吧。”他拿了跟布条,用汽油浸过,然后绑在了狗狗的背上用力擦了擦狗狗的背,说“好了,你现在可以去了,但是得一直拿着Belle的皮带,并且只能在街角走一次。”

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

小女孩离开了,几分钟后便回来了,狗没有一起回来。爸爸感到很惊讶,问道,“Belle呢?”

The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

小女孩说,“她半路就把背上的汽油挥发光了,然后另外一只狗就'奋勇前进'了。”

英语幽默小故事: Lonely frog

A lonely frog, desperate for any form of company, telephoned the Psychic Hot line to find out what his future has in store.

一只孤独的青蛙,对所有形式的陪伴都感到绝望,于是它拨打了心理咨询热线,想要知道它的未来还有什么样的可能。

His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

它的个人心理咨询顾问对它说,“你会遇见一位美丽的姑娘,她会想要知道所有关于你的事情”

The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

青蛙感到万分激动,说:“太好了!我会在哪遇见她?工作的时候?还是在晚宴上?”

"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

“不,”顾问说,“在生物课上。”

英语幽默小故事:Bi-Lingual Parrot

So this guy goes into a pet store and sees a beautiful parrot but it has a blue string handing from one foot and a red one from the other. He thinks this is a little strange so he asks the shopkeeper what the strings are for.

有个人在宠物店发现了一只美丽的鹦鹉,但是它的一只脚上牵着蓝色的绳子,而另一只牵着红色的。这个人觉得有些奇怪,就去问店主绳子是做什么的?

"Well this is a highly trained parrot" the shopkeeper replies. "If you pull the red string he talks in French, if you pull the blue string he talks in English".

“噢,这是一只训练有素的鹦鹉。”店主回答道。“如果你拉动红绳子,它会讲法语,如果你拉动蓝绳子,它就讲英语”

"Wow" exclaims the man shopping, "That's really neat. What happens if you pull them both at the same time?"

“哇塞,”这个人感到很惊讶。“太厉害了。那如果你同时拉呢?”

"I fall off my perch you idiot!" exclaims the parrot.

“我会从架子上跌倒的!你个笨蛋!”鹦鹉回答道。

英语幽默小故事:Deer Tracks

Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely.

两个律师一同去打猎。有一次,他们俩发现了一连串脚印,于是仔细检查起来。

The first lawyer announced, "Those are deer tracks. It's deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey."

第一个律师说“这些是小鹿(deer)的脚印。因为现在是小鹿活动的时候,我们应该跟着脚步走,这样就能发现猎物!”

The second lawyer responded,"Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. If we follow your advice, we'll waste the day."

第二个律师回答说:“这显然是驼鹿(elk)的脚印,而现在已经不是驼鹿的活动季节了。如果听你的,今天就相当于啥都没干了。”

Each attorney believed himself to be the superior woodsman, and they both bitterly stuck to their guns.

两个律师都觉得自己是对的,他们都忠于自己的看法。

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

直到被一大堆鹿冲撞开来。

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